So this week I learned the following humbling life lesson:

Here are the life learnings I had this week that I must share — in the hopes that you may avoid a similar fate later!

1) I couldn’t get out of jury duty. Apparently having a legally trained/former lawyer wife who is 33.5 weeks pregnant and that I’m a Law and Order junkie is NOT enough to get out of jury duty these days. I did make bailiff/message arrangements to get me safely booted out of there if (heaven forbid!) Max would show up early…

However, the worry was all for naught. The case was settled today. It was a lover’s quarrel over a guy that turned ugly. A knife was involved and the charge was “assault with a deadly weapon”. But there was no “intent” charge (attempted murder, etc.), and based on a few other things I observed — my guess would be that the defendant plead out in the end.

What DID seem to work toward getting out of jury duty: Not knowing English well or pretending to not know English well or having airline tickets within the next two weeks IN HAND.

2) I am officially “baby stupid”. Yes, at the tender age of 37, I’m still learning how to diaper a baby, and it definitely isn’t as easy as it looks.

You parents out there had practice, didn’t you?

Well, I haven’t yet! No babysitting for infants in my lifetime, sad to say!

I know that’s a sad thing to admit, but when you’ve got the scariest baby doll face on the planet staring back at you…

Scary Baby Doll!

…plus tools of the trade I’ve never seen before… the cloth diaper clip is still a mystery to me…

Diaper Clip

…and a well-trained-diaperist of a wife, it’s more than a little bit humbling to learn this stuff so late in life, especially in a crowd. Basically, disposables seemed relatively easy, but cloth diaper installation seemed like a pain in the baby butt.

All I ask for, folks, is patience. Hopefully Max will also be patient with his fatherly-sap-wuss-lame-ass dad.

We’re both learning. 🙂