I came across this during a lunch websurf last week.

And it got me to thinking — which is always dangerous — what sort of strange and weird little untruths will I tell Max when he’s older?  What sort of wonderful warping of his mind will Val and I perpetuate upon him?

So I got to thinking about some of the whoppers my folks told me that I later discovered were probably fabrications…?

  • My father would magically KNOW if I ever took drugs.  (Not that I was ever tempted.  But his pharmacutical knowledge on this front was enough.)
  • If you collect enough dryer lint, you can create your own hamster.
  • Fish can TOTALLY hear you when you’re loud in the early morning hours.  So put a sock in it already!
  • “Scroot!” is a perfectly acceptable exclamation in polite company if you say it fast enough.
  • If you ever get to the top of the escalator and get sucked under, the flames of hell will flicker at you… so hold on to the escalator until it rotates back around the bottom and you’ll pop back out on Earth at the bottom of the escalator.  (I’m still not sure how THAT one got in my skull.)
  • Eating carrots will give you night vision.

I’m sure there’s more in my head that I’m either forgetting or repressing… and I’m sure everybody has their own lists… 🙂